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### Nothing Says “I Love You” Like a $1,100 Vacuum: A Critique of the Tech-Bro’s Guide to Romance Valentine’s Day is looming, and if you listen to the tech elite, the only way to prove your devotion is by gifting your partner a piece of hardware that will be obsolete by next Tuesday. The latest…
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If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live inside the echo chamber of a minimalist desk setup, *The Verge’s* latest “Installer” newsletter has arrived to provide the definitive, “Verge-iest” answer. Apparently, the peak of human existence this week involves bailing on all adult responsibilities to watch the Olympics full-time and obsessing over task managers…
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Welcome to the era of digital masochism, where “fun” has been replaced by the “methodical work” of not dying. The Verge recently graced us with a preview of *Cairn*, a new climbing simulator from The Game Bakers. The author, a self-admitted “awful rock climber” who is “scared of heights,” claims this game perfectly captures the…
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In a world where we’ve successfully put touchscreens on refrigerators so they can tell us we’re out of oat milk while we’re standing right in front of them, the tech elite have finally found their line in the sand: a 45-watt wall charger. The Verge recently took aim at the new Anker Nano 45W charger,…
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Welcome to the era of the “innovative” $29 coin. In a recent display of tech-journalism-induced Stockholm Syndrome, we’re being told that the second-generation AirTag—a device whose primary function is to tell you that you are, in fact, incompetent—is actually superior to the iPad. Yes, you read that correctly. A piece of plastic containing a CR2032…
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Ah, the first week of February: that magical time when consumer electronics journalists pivot from CES hangovers to convincing you that your current television is a visual disaster incapable of rendering a football spiraling through the air. This week’s “must-have” list is a masterclass in the “MSRP delusion,” a phenomenon where we pretend a product…
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Ah, the classic tech journalism cycle: dust off a perfectly capable machine, fail at basic maintenance, try to install a different operating system without reading a single manual, and then run screaming back to the walled garden of Cupertino while writing a 1,500-word eulogy for “the year of the Linux desktop.” The Verge recently graced…
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In a stunning display of “better late than never—but actually mostly just late,” GOG has finally looked up from its pile of Witcher 3 stickers to realize that Linux exists. In a move that surprised approximately three people who still use dial-up, the company posted a job listing for a senior software engineer to port…
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Welcome to Super Bowl LX, the high-stakes cultural event where the Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots compete to see who can be more overshadowed by a chatbot. While Bad Bunny prepares to shake the halftime stage, the commercial breaks are gearing up to be a $7-million-per-slot funeral for human creativity. If you thought the…
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In a move that proves the media industry is just a very expensive game of musical chairs played in a burning building, *The Washington Post* has tapped Jeff D’Onofrio as its acting CEO. Because when your legendary newspaper—the one that took down Nixon—is facing a billionaire-funded identity crisis, the obvious solution is to hire the…