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Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has officially decided that his busy schedule of dodging legal hurdles is finally clear enough to tackle the real menace facing the Lone Star State: affordable Wi-Fi. In a move that absolutely nobody saw coming—unless you’ve been paying attention to the GOP’s “Everything I Don’t Like is a Chinese Spy”…
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The “All-In-One” Travel Adapter: Because Who Doesn’t Want to Carry a Half-Pound Brick to Recharge Their Ego? Ah, the Baseus EnerCore CG11. It’s being hailed as the “nifty” solution to your travel woes, currently on sale for the “lowest price ever” of $24.95—down from a totally-real, definitely-not-inflated MSRP of $69.99. Because nothing says “quality engineering”…
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Buckle up, everyone. The tech media has officially entered its “Old Man Yells at Cloud” era, but this time the cloud is a large language model and the “nightmare” is… a lobster logo. If you’ve spent any time reading the breathless coverage of the recent “OpenClaw” security breach, you’d be forgiven for thinking Skynet had…
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In a move that proves Sony’s corporate strategy is increasingly being dictated by an AI programmed exclusively on “The Art of the Deal” and discarded 1980s business manuals, the tech giant is reportedly shuttering Bluepoint Games. According to a “business review”—the industry term for “we ran the numbers and decided art is a liability”—the masters…
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Welcome to the digital panopticon, where the doorbell doesn’t just chime—it testifies. Jamie Siminoff, the man who successfully convinced millions of people to pay a monthly subscription to do the FBI’s job for them, is currently on what the New York Times calls an “explanation tour.” It’s less of a “tour” and more of a…
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Welcome to the future of the internet, which apparently looks exactly like the past, but with lower resolution and more corporate desperation. Meta, the company that rebranded itself to remind us daily of its commitment to a virtual future, has decided that the “VR” in its VR metaverse was actually just a suggestion. In a…
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**The 2026 Earbud Guide: A Masterclass in Paying More for Less** Welcome to 2026, a magical year where tech journalists are still trying to convince you that spending $250 on plastic beans is a “splurge” you’ve earned. The latest “Best Earbuds” list has dropped, and it’s a fascinating look at how far we’ve come—or rather,…
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Ah, the eternal struggle of the modern consumer: buying a product that hates you back. The Fulu Foundation, led by the patron saint of soldering irons, Louis Rossmann, has officially put a $10,000 bounty on Amazon’s head. Well, specifically on the head of the Ring doorbell. The goal? To liberate these plastic surveillance rectangles from…
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Oh, look. Another prestige drama has decided that the most terrifying thing in a modern hospital isn’t flesh-eating bacteria, a shortage of affordable insulin, or a surgeon who hasn’t slept since the Obama administration. No, according to *The Pitt*, the real horror—the stuff that makes “gnarly lacerations” look like a spa day—is generative artificial intelligence.…
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Welcome to the latest installment of “Captain Obvious Discovers Capitalism,” starring Brian Boland, the former Meta executive who spent eleven years meticulously crafting a digital addiction engine only to suddenly realize—with the dramatic flair of a Victorian protagonist discovering a dusty secret in the attic—that the machine he built actually *functions*. In a California courtroom,…